"I'm not handsome, Magnus." He knew he wasn't bad looking. The women who had chased after him hadn't looked repulsed like they did when they chased after the Shadowhunters that were twice their age, but that didn't mean he was handsome. Jace was the one that everyone looked at. Alec faded into the background in comparison. Not that he ever really minded since what Magnus guessed was true. There'd never been anyone he wanted to kiss until now. "But you're right. "You're right. I never wanted to kiss anyone before."

Which might seem sad but better to wait than to lead someone on. He knew how painful that could be even when it'd been his own fault.

Tipping his head into the fingers in his hair, he tried to think of what it might have been like but knew he'd never truly understand. "No, I don't, but that doesn't mean I don't want to make it better. Or that I don't believe in the ideals we spoke of before."

Gently squeezing her hand before she moved away, he selfishly wished she could stay near. "I - uh..." It took a moment for him to remember that he hadn't washed his hair. "I can hurry up with the rest." Or he'd try to if he didn't forget since calming her after that apology seemed more important. Wincing as he twisted around in the tub so he could watch her, guilt twisted in his chest as he saw her blush. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I didn't mind. I... uh... liked it."