alec_lightwood | Being kidnapped is not the best way to see the world (for his Magnus)

Alec woke to the sound of arguing and the feeling that his skull would split in two if he did anything more strenuous than breathing too deeply. Something that he doubted he could do judging by the way his chest ached with each inhalation, his body aching as if he'd been thoroughly beaten. Which, Alec realized was true. His memory was hazy but he remembered being attacked, outnumbered and separated from his siblings. He'd fought hard, but he'd been overwhelmed, taking a blow to the head that had caused the world to fade to a terrifying black.

But it seemed that someone had rescued him. Or more than one someone from the voices that argued nearby. Cracking open one eye, he immediately regretted the movement as the flat surface beneath him rocked, almost causing him to be ill. Then, he realized that the surface was moving in a way that meant that he had to be on a boat.

Getting control of his stomach, Alec opened both eyes this time to see that he was on a bed and near the foot three people argued. One had green skin. Another had blue. The other's complexion was a shade that mundanes would have considered normal, if darker than what was socially acceptable.

Their words washed over him but without true context, almost lulling him to sleep despite the harsh tones. Alec began to drift out of consciousness when someone mentioned throwing him off the boat. Since he assumed that they most likely weren't near land and even if they were, he was in no shape to swim to shore, that meant that one of them wanted to kill him. He began to sit up, biting his lip to silence sound that caught in his throat as his body protested the movement. "Killing me would be a bad idea."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Alec hated shopping. Clothes were something that were useful, not something he thought of for any other purpose than the most basic. Isabelle, and to some extent, Jace, were the ones that cared about fashion. But with Magnus, he didn't think he'd mind being dragged to whichever shops caught her attention. "Any time you want me to come with you."

He was still trying to recover from the idea of Magnus wanting to play with sharks when she began to pout. Blinking at her a moment, he shook his head over her protests. "You can find something less dangerous to attempt for your 'feat to exceed all feats.'"

It was strange that she was interested in sharks when water seemed to scare he for some reason. Maybe it was like his fear of spiders and umbrellas. There was no real reason for the fear, but he could never completely ignore it.

But it seemed deeper than that. Like something truly had scared her. Which made it strange that she'd want him to take her swimming, but if that was what Magnus wanted, he'd do everything possible to give her that. Meeting her eyes, he gently brushed his fingers along her cheek, wanting to reassure her in some small way. Promises had power, especially when given by a Shadowhunter, but Alec knew that he would do whatever was necessary to protect her. "You won't drown, Magnus. Not if I can stop it."

Realizing that he was probably being too familiar, he lowered his hand, wishing that he didn't have to keep distance between them. Magnus was one of the few people he felt content being near. At least until he was naked in the bathtub, jarred out of his thoughts by the sound of her voice, flushing as he thought of how close she was.

He would have turned around to try to see where she was, but he doubted his back would have agreed with the motion. Instead he slipped deeper into the water so that the heat could reach more of his abused muscles. "Thank you, Magnus. I know healing me had to be tiring."

As he spoke, Alec remembered pain and fear and the poison had burned through him... and golden eyes that had driven away his nightmares. "You spoke to me. While I was delirious. I don't remember words but I remember your voice." Tipping his head back, he tried to catch a glimpse of her. "I'm here because you saved me."

"Really?" It likely sounded like a little child suddenly excited. The prospect of Alec being willing to go with her sent a wave of glee through her. "I'd really like that. Truly." Maybe she shouldn't show so much childish happiness, but the idea of him agreeing was just too hard to ignore.

Laughing a little at his declaration of finding a safer goal, she nodded just a little and sent him a smile. "Very well." It was hard to argue with someone that looked so sincere due to concern for her life. It made her happy, strangely enough.

Just like that barest touch to her cheek shook her all the way to the core. Opening her eyes, she looked up at him with a sort of adoration as the memory seemed to fade instantly to focus on him. Memories always proved tricky for her. Especially the bad ones. But they'd never calmed and faded so easily before. Just a simple touch and a promise and if felt like someone pulled her out of the water of her past instead of pushed her under. "Thank you..."

The words were barely a whisper and more then enough reason to flee after he seemed to pull away and think better of his action. She wouldn't linger on that. No. It felt better to just focus on her tasks of tidying up the room. A little. She didn't really like cleaning. Her desk proved that.

Finishing up the bed, she paused at his own thank you and looked back at him. By chance, she caught his eyes only a moment. If she followed propriety she would have looked away, but instead, she smiled at him softly. "And I'd do it again. Feeling tired is a small price to pay." Even if he only barely caught his eyes around the screen, she still held them with her own.

"I'm glad you heard me and came back." Winking at him, she turned back to the room and moved over to the decanter and tumblers to pour them some water. Poking her head out again, she requested breakfast to be brought in before scooting to the screen and offering the tumbler to him without looking. "You need to drink more water... here..."

"Yes." It was impossible not to be caught up in her excitement... or be caught up in his own. She wanted him to stay, for a time at least, and even with his worries for Izzy and Jace, he wanted to spend time with Magnus. He wanted to make her smile at him like that again and again because she was happy over something he'd done. "I'd like it too."

And maybe she'd look at him like that again even if it twisted him up inside, confusion and something else catching in his chest. He wanted to see her eyes turn bright gold instead of going dark with whatever caused her fears. For a moment, Alec wished he was as forward as his siblings instead of falling back on propriety, though he wasn't sure what he would have done if he was that brave. "You're welcome."

The thought confused him just as much as whatever he'd felt when he'd seen the adoration in Magnus' eyes. He never thought things like that before. His siblings were different than him. Alec had accepted that years ago. He was the quiet one that kept to the shadows while Jace and Isabelle burned brightly. He'd never envied them or wanted to be like them, but now...

Meeting Magnus' gaze, he couldn't help thinking of what Magnus had said about him being bright in his own way, wishing that it was true. "I'm glad that was the only price. I know that overusing magic can be dangerous." It wouldn't have surprised him if Magnus had worn herself down to such a state if he'd been poisoned. Most people didn't survive those kinds of wounds.

"You did bring me back." The thought was comforting in a way. So many times he'd been injured and there had been no one at his bedside. Even if Jace and Isabelle wanted to stay with him, there were times when duty was more important than the comfort of one Shadowhunter. And Max... his little brother shouldn't see Alec while he was seriously hurt. "Most of the time, there's no one there when I wake up in the infirmary."

As Magnus moved toward the screen, Alec quickly looked around, trying to find something to cover himself with, and then realized that if even if something was close, he'd probably hurt himself trying to reach it. He went still, mentally wincing as he waited for Magnus to move around the screen, surprised when all she did was offer him the glass.

Taking the tumbler carefully, he didn't realize how thirsty he took a drink and gulped most of it down without pausing for breath. "How long do you think it'll be before I'm better?"

Magna never really felt so tangled up in feelings as she did now. Confusing and winding her up in knots inside, but the feeling felt warm and expecting. But what was she expecting? Holding his gaze a moment, she smiled as she idly pulled a pillow up into her arms and hugged it. The only word that came to mind when she looked him in the eye was 'beautiful'.

"I have a talent so to speak. I learn as much as I can whenever I can. The more useful you are, the less likely people would find you expendable so to speak. You kind of have to when you're as old as me." That and her 'blood' gave her a certain disposition to learn a lot of things. "I'm actually not talented at healing. I have tried... but for some reason... I can deal in demon poisons better than even the best healers." It was a lot more information than she gave most people, but Alec gave off this feeling like she could talk and he would listen without judging.

"I was tired. I lost consciousness at one point... Which is why they got the jump on me by storming in the room while you were sleeping and I nodded off. Ragnor has a subtle flair for the dramatic when he wants to throw a fit. Rare as those moments are. He did burn down an entire ship because he was angry at me once. He's gotten better though." Grinning at him, she knew that Ragnor would tone it down when he realized Alec wouldn't hurt them. He'd worry of course, but not over Alec's threat. She'd talk him down later.

But she suddenly tightened her hold on the pillow and her eyes saddened at the idea of him being alone when he woke up times before. Brow furrowing, she took a step closer before remembering herself and stopping. "I rarely left your side. I may be a stranger to you... but you needed someone there. I would not have left you." Nodding firmly, her nails dug into the pillow before she turned to drop it on the bed with the other dark blue silk covered pillows.

That strange pain in her chest at the thought didn't leave even as he took the glass from her. Pressing her forehead to the opposite side of the screen, she closed her eyes. Things like that weren't fair. It made her think of all the loneliness of her past and having to patch herself up when she got hurt. Ragnor and Catarina were the first to help her.

"I'm not sure... Catarina is the real healer. She'd have a better idea. But considering... considering your recovery I'd say no more than a week to be good as new." With drastic improvements in between. But she really didn't want to think about him up and leaving when he was better. Not really.

Alec knew he should look away even if she really couldn't see anything. The whole situation was improper and even if Magnus didn't care about his reputation, he didn't want others to think poorly of her. But he couldn't break their gaze, staring into beautiful golden eyes instead of trying to scrape together some sense of normalcy.

Then sadness dimmed his thoughts as Magnus described being 'expendable.' It was something he'd lived with for year. He knew how much that hurt. "You wouldn't be expendable, Magnus, even if you didn't know how to heal demon poisons. Laughing softly at himself, he finally looked away, reaching for the soap so he could start to scrub away the remnants of the fight. "But I"m glad that you do have that skill."

The worst of it had been cleaned away, probably so that Catarina could see how badly he was injured and to dress the wounds but he still felt itchy like none of it had been washed away. Pausing when she mentioned Ragnor's fit, he turned to stare in Magnus' direction. "He burned down a ship?" If he could get that angry over things, maybe Alec shouldn't linger longer than it took to heal enough to stay upright on his own. "If my being here is going to be a problem, you can leave me at the next port. The Clave will find a way to get me home."

The Clave might want to ignore him, but his family was too important for the Clave to abandon him completely when he technically hadn't done anything wrong. At least nothing that could be proven. "I don't want to cause trouble."

Even if the idea of leaving caused the energy to drain out of him so that he felt hollow inside. He liked Magnus. He had the feeling he'd like Catarina as well once he got to know her. But he couldn't cause problems among her crew.

Especially when Magnus had helped him and shown him a kindness that few others had. "I think you are the reason I came back." That he remembered, someone calling him back when he was delirious and certain he'd die. "I wanted to but..." He'd fought, but it'd been Magnus' voice and those catlike eyes that had kept him from becoming lost in the haze of pain and fear. "I was lost until you brought me back."

He still felt lost... at least when he considered going back home. Once he stepped off the ship, he'd never see Magnus again. The thought hurt worse than any of his injuries that still twinged when he moved wrong, a constant ache that confused him just as much as it pained him. Why would he want to stay when two of the three people he'd met on the ship wanted him gone and Magnus...

She was special even if she didn't realize it. Even if he wanted to see his siblings, he couldn't help wishing that he'd see her again after he returned to the Institute but he doubted that would ever happen. Why would Magnus want to see him again... and how would his parents react to a warlock showing up at their doorstep?

Sighing quietly, he tried not to think of the Institute or his family, focusing on the now instead of the way his heart sank at the idea of returning so quickly. "I'll try not to be in the way until I have to leave."

"I'm also glad. Because it saved you." Before it had been money in the pocket. Now it kept a beautiful life still burning and the chance to meet the handsome hunter that fought so valiantly. He fought with his heart. That was a nobility few had. And with those lovely eyes caught with hers, she smiled at him in a way that meant warmth and gentleness. If she couldn't say it aloud, her gaze said it plainly, 'you are wanted'.

"Now... you see... we took this job... it was to protect a cargo. And well.. that cargo I didn't tell him what it was. Till we were literally neck deep in it. Guano really doesn't smell good, by the way. It was in my hair for at least a month after." She winced at the memory of it all and then she laughed. "That was in Peru. Anyway, while we sat in it... he asked what it was in that terrifyingly calm voice. You have to understand... he wasn't aiming for the boat. He was aiming for me. I could survive a few burns. Sadly a wooden boat can't. He wouldn't speak to me for a few years after that. Really... he has no sense of adventure. A little guano never killed anyone."

Taking a deep breath, her heart picked up pace as she tried not to let his fear of not being wanted to linger. "He'll be fine with you when he realizes you won't hurt me. And honestly, the Clave thinks you're dead. It gives you time to rest. They won't come for us that quickly." She furrowed her brow and fidgeted with the leather belt about her waist. "I got angry... when I saw how bad you were... I burned it all down. Every demon that couldn't get away was incinerated. There is nothing left there." Her skin flushed at the thought. "It's rare that I lose it like that. I haven't had that happen since I was little... the Silent Brothers..."

Stopping, she shook her head and pushed her hair back again out of her eyes. "Alec, I'm far more trouble to Ragnor Fell than you will ever be. He's just paranoid. And he can't say ill of the Clave when he's served the Fairchild family for centuries."

Breathing in slowly at the idea of being the one to save him, she smiled a little more. "I'd do it again. Now I have a name to call for, you know. You're doomed because I never give up. Just ask Catarina. Not on someone that matters... some people you just know." Know that they are special and deserve to be in your life. And she wanted him in her life more than she could even dare explain.

"My dear angel... you won't be in my way. But I know for a fact that I will be in yours. I am a very exuberant and energetic person and will likely drag you around to show you everything. Every Wednesday night we get together on the deck at night to eat together and some bring out instruments... and really, Alec, you'll enjoy it. I hope you will, at least." It was likely silly to feel excited to tell him all that. She felt like the talking just came out as she poured everything out to him.

A long pause followed as she added softer while bowing her head against the screen. "I don't want you to hurry away. Stay. Stay here till you want to leave? Not just because we can stamp you healthy and ship you out... Stay here with...." The unspoken 'me' lingered in the air before she swallowed and tried again. "Stay here and let me show you things you never would have seen before."

For a moment, he could barely breathe, surprised by the emotions he saw reflected in her eyes. Alec knew that his family cared for him, but that was different than being wanted. He wasn't the best Shadowhunter... he wasn't the bravest or the smartest and Alec knew that would always be true. He was the protector, a role that he never begrudged, but it was a role lonely compared to his brilliant siblings.

Why would Magnus care so much about a stranger, a Shadowhunter, who she had just met? Healers showed concern for their patients but that sort of feeling was unusual. Most Downworlders hated his kind and mundanes thought nephilim were odd. Magnus showing that much concern was something unexpected that warmed his soul in ways he hadn't thought possible.

And so did her story about Peru. He knew that he shouldn't laugh over situation that had put them both at risk but he couldn't help imagining how ridiculous they both must have looked caught in a cargo of guano. Especially Ragnor who seemed to be constantly annoyed at the world. And Magnus... "Were you wearing one of those hats that annoy him?" Maybe it had been the peacock one that she'd told him about...

His humor faded as Magnus explained why Ragnor seemed to dislike him. It was something Alec understood completely. He would be just as protective of the people he cared about, especially when "Magnus, I promise that I will do everything I can to make sure no harm comes to you. If it'd make him feel better, I'll give him my oath that that's true." It would have to be carefully worded, but his intentions would be clear.

As he made that promise, the full impact of her words hit him, realizing what had happened during the battle. The fact that she'd killed demons didn't bother him. He might not have killed one until that fight, but he had no qualms about sending them back to whatever realm they came from. She'd burned them because she was worried about him. The thought was both frightening and touching.... having that much power to unleash on the world...

But she'd done it to protect him, not for malicious reasons. Most probably would think of it as something terrible, but he could only be grateful for being saved. "Thank you, Magnus. I would be dead if you hadn't destroyed them. And your crew might have been hurt too if you hadn't done it."

His voice softened as she warned him that she was dangerous, not believing that could possibly be true. "You're not trouble. You're a hero. If I'm a hero, then you must be one too." For a moment, he considered her words about people being special... That he mattered. "I don't want you to give up. You're someone who matters to me as well."

Someone that he didn't have to leave in a week if that wasn't what he wished. It pained him that his family thought he was dead, but he couldn't send them a fire message and risk the Clave finding out and assuming the worst about Magnus and her crew. Eventually, he'd find a way to get word to them. For now, he'd rest and enjoy the time he had with Magnus.

"I'm used to being dragged around by energetic people. I think I'll like it more with you than with my siblings." Crowds were something he usually avoided, but the idea of being with the Magnus and the crew, sharing a meal and music appealed to him. "I'd like to be part of that... if they don't mind having a Shadowhunter around."

Hopefully they wouldn't mind since he wanted to stay. For awhile at least. With Magnus. He wanted to get to know her and learn all the ways that she mattered to him. "I want to stay. Even if you don't show me things I haven't seen before, I want to stay."

"Oh god... it was beautiful! It had parrot feathers and feathers from the bird of paradise... The greens and yellows, blues and reds! It was absolutely fabulous and gaudy!" Magnus broke out into giggling as she remembered that hat and her first almost pirate inspired outfit. She sent him a quick grin before scurrying over to her closet. "He hated it. In fact... he let it up in flames as soon as he scored a hit on me. I was so upset. But the, the guano ruined it."

Digging out the hat box she wanted, she found the one she wanted and took it out. True to her word it looked like a peacock had been miniaturized enough to sit on her head. The tail feathers fanned out behind her while lace and little gems adorned the rest. Oh. It stood out in all the worst ways. Poking her head around the screen she grinned. "See? Isn't it just perfect? I think I make his eye twitch every time I wear it!"

However, her grin softened as he told her he'd promise Ragnor such a grand thing. "No... you need not swear such a thing. I know you are good and will not harm me or my crew. We've given you no reason to. And should any of my crew try to give a reason, I will deal with them myself. You'll be fine... I promise you." She'd protect him with all that she was. Pulling away, she moved to put the hat up and stuff it back in the packed closet.

But her silence drug on as she closed the door and considered his words after explaining the little explosion in her rescue efforts. It was one of the reasons Ragnor was worried. Little set Magnus off. She'd prided herself in being impossibly laid back and fun loving. Now she couldn't say that. "Don't downplay it, Alec... that reaction if unacceptable. I was trained by the Silent Brothers at the beginning so it wouldn't happen again." Her voice trailed off at the again and sighed. "The last time was when I killed my step father. I was so small... I didn't know. I didn't know anything..."

Yet she had no regret. He deserved to burn for what he'd done to her. "But I'm happy to have saved you and kept my crew safe. It wasn't so bad or ominous this time." Moving to the bed, she pulled the sword off and tossed it aside on the bed. Sprawling on the sheets after that, she closed her eyes. "I won't give up. I'm rather attached to you now, like it or not."

Turning her head, she peered at him in amusement only catching his head over the lip of the tub from an odd angle because of the screen and her position. "I'll do my best to keep it enjoyable. Though, I can tell already I'll love your company in any event."

Then he agreed to stay. Her eyes brightened as they opened and she smiled. Sitting up, she slipped slowly off the bed and moved toward him. Without a word she rounded the screen, closing her eyes at the same time. Stepping closer she used memory and the feeling of the lip of the tub to guide her before she cupped his head in her hands. Never opening her eyes, she kissed the top of his head sweetly. "I want you to stay. Thank you..."

It was impossible not to get caught up in the story, smiling as he resumed washing away the the last of the blood and dirt. Alec had no sense of fashion, even less an idea of what sorts of hats a woman like Magnus would wear, but the descriptions of the feathers were enough for him to understand why Ragnor would twitch over it. Although setting it - and a boat - on fire wasn't appropriate behavior.

He heard her rummaging for something but assumed it was for more linens until she poked her head around the screen... with a brightly colored peacock nesting in her hair. At least that's what it looked like, if peacocks wore lace and jewelry.

Stifling a yelp, he stared first at the stuffed bird, then at Magnus, not even thinking of the fact that she would see him while he bathed. "I - It is perfect." For giving Ragnor fits. He wasn't sure what else it would be perfect for... or why someone had made it in the first place.

"I'll still make the vow, Magnus. I don't want your crew worrying because of me." The thought saddened him, but he understood. He'd read enough history to know how nephilim had treated Downworlders in the past. "I know my ancestors used to look for the slightest excuse to kill a Downworlder." He'd never been the type, but the crew didn't know that. They had no reason to trust him.

Closing his eyes as he tipped his head back against the lip of the tub, Alec considered her description of the battle and her past, not believing that the situation could be explained so simply. "If you hadn't acted in an unacceptable manner, I'd be dead." It was simple and blunt, but it was also the truth. The mention of the Silent Brothers along with the death of her stepfather caused him to pause. "Why did you kill him?"

It didn't sound like it was murder, even if she'd omitted enough details for it to sound suspicious. He couldn't believe that she had done it on purpose... at least not without reason.

Turning his head, he tried to catch her gaze, giving her a small smile that he doubted she could see. "I'm rather attached too." Which might have been why he didn't protest when she moved closer, eyes closed so not even a hint of bright gold showed beneath her lashes. Alec remained still, waiting to see what she was trying to do, not wanting to disturb her when she was focusing on keeping her direction. A flush warmed his skin as she caught his head between her hands and her lips brushed against his hair.

A strange impulse that he'd never had before accompanied his blush and he gently caught her wrists, holding her still so she wouldn't overbalance into the tub. Shifting slightly, he tipped his head up, placing a soft kiss to her lips. "Thank you for letting me stay."

"Isn't it? Some times I think it breaks something in his brain just looking at it. After all, I bought it for that sole purpose. You should see the bright teal riding jacket I owned to go with it. I think he threw that in the ocean..." Sighing dramatically, she swept away with the hat. "I have others. One side of the closet is for hats to annoy Ragnor, the others are the ones I actually like." Yes... a good deal of them had feathers. Just not those kinds of feathers.

"You aren't your ancestor's Alec. You are you. But if it makes you happy, then do it. The crew will feel better and Ragnor will pout that he has nothing left to complain about." Even if her first mate really didn't like complaining... she certainly thought he did. "I'll still keep you safe. I promise."

His question about her father made her pause. She stayed silent and didn't answer it. Answering it could be bad or not, but she wasn't sure. Alec seemed to understand better than most people. That explained why she chose to kiss his hair first. The soft touch of lips on silken strands. Only to gently gasp as he touched her wrist. She fought to keep her eyes closed then felt everything inside melt.

That simple soft press of lips to her own sent a jolt of electricity through her and she made a soft little mewl as he pulled away. Parted lips let little pants escape before she lowered to her knees and gently wrapped her arms about his neck. Taking absolute care not to open her eyes, she rested her head against his.

"You really want to know what happened? With my parents?" She pressed her lips together before taking a deep breath. "My mother killed herself when she saw my eyes... I was just a toddler." Pausing, she bit her lip and shared one detail she'd never shared before. "My eyes were mostly normal up till that day. They just suddenly changed... She hung herself because of me... then my father in anger did everything to kill me. And finally tried to drown me. And... it just all exploded."

Her voice trailed off and she slowly started to let him go. He didn't need a patricidal maniac hugging him. Information like that came with a price. One that made you stay alone. Which was why she rarely if ever told anyone.

Whatever thoughts he might have had about hats and questionable wardrobes and even his ancestors stilled as he gently kissed Magnus. It was something he'd never done before. There had been ladies who had tried to corner him, hoping that a kiss might earn his affections or lead to a situation where his parents might believe he compromised the girl's honor. Alec had managed to avoid them all, his feelings for Jace making it impossible for him to notice a woman in such a way.

At least until Magnus had rescued him, leaving him off balance in ways that he doubted he'd ever mind, looking at him as if he truly did matter.

It still shocked him that he'd been so forward, giving her a sign of affection that he'd never thought to give anyone else. Even when he was close to Jace, he'd never thought to kiss him, afraid of how things might change if he gave into his feelings.

With Magnus, it was simple, at least while he'd been acting it had been. He still wondered over it as he let go of her wrists, his heart fluttering as he caught his breath and a blush darkened his cheeks. He was about to apologize when she knelt beside the tub, arms going around his neck.

As she explained what happened, his heart clenched, the tentative happiness he'd felt scattering as he imagined how scared Magnus must have been when her father had attacked her. Taking her hand, he threaded his fingers between hers. "None of that is your fault, Magnus." There was no hint of doubt in his voice or revulsion. Only concern for her and an attempt to give comfort. "You can't help who your father was anymore than I can stop what my ancestors did to Downworlders. Your stepfather was trying to kill you. You protected yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty for."

Turning her head, she couldn't help the tiny whisper in his ear. "I've never had a sweeter kiss." Pressing her face into his neck, she hid her face there. He felt warm and solid in her arms, and part of her felt guilty for using him for support when he didn't even know her. Not for lack of trying to tell him...

Breathing in deeply to get calmer, she felt a light headedness sweep through her that dazed her mind as Alec's scent filled her senses. That hadn't been planned on, and she didn't get away fast enough to give him his personal space back. Not that she needed it when his hand found hers.

The moment their fingers intertwined, she pressed closer and clung to him that much more. "I didn't mean to... I didn't know what I was doing." Her voice came softer that time. "I used to wish he'd succeeded. But I'm glad he didn't." Because if she'd been dead, Alec would have died. It sounded so small in a span of centuries, but it felt so true. "If I'd not been there for the Herondales back then... you never would have been born... if I'd not been here, you never would have survived... I am thankful I was there."

Shivering a little at his comforting words, she squeezed his hand gently. "You are... truly something, Alec. Something amazing and special. Never believe anything different."

His blush deepened at those words, embarrassment and pride mixing together as she held him. "It was my first." It probably wasn't something he should admit, but Magnus was telling him about his past and he wanted her to know that the kiss was important... that she was important even if she didn't seem to believe that.

Running the fingers of his free hand along her arm, he turned so he could softly kiss her cheek, still dazed by his own forwardness, but needing to give her comfort. "I know you didn't. But he was hurting you. You protected yourself. It was no different than killing the demons who were trying to kill me." Except she'd been a child and shouldn't have had to experience something that horrified most adults.

Brushing his thumb along her knuckles, he wondered about the Herondales she'd known and what she might have done to help them. "I'm glad too and not just because I'd be dead if you weren't. I want you to be here." With him. "I'll believe that if you try to believe the same about yourself."

It wouldn't be that easy of course, but maybe she'd start to reconsider her own worth. Letting out a quiet sigh, wished he didn't have to force her to move but knew he needed to get out of the tub before she became stuck like a statue beside it or he fell asleep in it. "I should probably get out now."

Her eyes nearly opened at that. She'd taken his first kiss. Well.. maybe not taken. He gave it to her. But the idea of it left her dizzy thinking about it. Breathing in slowly again, she hugged him closer. "Someone as handsome as you? I want to say I'm surprised... but I'm not. Not really... your heart... it's more sincere." Not like other men that would corner her thinking they could have what they wanted. Magnus never gave unless she wanted to and it became rarer the older she got.

Shivering a little at the touch to her arm, she moved the hand not in his up to softly play with his hair. "Do you know how horrifying it is? To understand why mundane's would want to kill a child like I myself? And yet hate them for being so closed minded." She laughed mirthlessly and sighed. "This world has always been messed up."

Humming a soft sound of happiness at the kiss to her cheek, she felt the sleepiness seep into her as she focused on his warmth in her arms. The tub, by contrast was cold and the wood floor hurt her knees. But it didn't matter. She likely would have stayed like that if he'd not mentioned getting up. "Oh? Done?"

She carefully unwound from him feeling like the cat that caught the canary, wondering if he'd wanted a reason to make her let go. "I'll... I'll check with the guards outside to see if they brought clothes like I asked." She nearly stumbled when she backed away. Her skin felt warm on her face and she knew she was slightly flushed. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have invaded your space. It was very selfish of me..."

"I'm not handsome, Magnus." He knew he wasn't bad looking. The women who had chased after him hadn't looked repulsed like they did when they chased after the Shadowhunters that were twice their age, but that didn't mean he was handsome. Jace was the one that everyone looked at. Alec faded into the background in comparison. Not that he ever really minded since what Magnus guessed was true. There'd never been anyone he wanted to kiss until now. "But you're right. "You're right. I never wanted to kiss anyone before."

Which might seem sad but better to wait than to lead someone on. He knew how painful that could be even when it'd been his own fault.

Tipping his head into the fingers in his hair, he tried to think of what it might have been like but knew he'd never truly understand. "No, I don't, but that doesn't mean I don't want to make it better. Or that I don't believe in the ideals we spoke of before."

Gently squeezing her hand before she moved away, he selfishly wished she could stay near. "I - uh..." It took a moment for him to remember that he hadn't washed his hair. "I can hurry up with the rest." Or he'd try to if he didn't forget since calming her after that apology seemed more important. Wincing as he twisted around in the tub so he could watch her, guilt twisted in his chest as he saw her blush. "There's nothing to be sorry for. I didn't mind. I... uh... liked it."

"Who told you such lies? You're lucky I have self-control and remember at least some propriety and remind myself I'm not allowed to instigate pursuits of affections." Teasing him lightly, it was actually true. She may flirt and make her interest known, but actual pursuit was not something she did on account of men not liking that sort of behavior. "That and you're..." She struggled for the right word before turning her head to nuzzle his hair. "I value you too much to be so forward without your consent. Is that a good way of wording it? I can be amazing with words or really awful."

But the fact he kissed her and gave something so precious to her made her kiss just behind his ear softly. "I promise you... it is a kiss I will treasure in my memories." That she will likely taste and feel every time she closed her eyes.

Gently kneading his scalp, she smiled just slightly at his words and desire to make it better. "That's good enough. It's more than I expect... I know... if you'd been there... you would have saved me." She knew that without a doubt in her mind. And maybe then she would have known what it was like to be held by someone that cared after the sudden 'demon' appeal her parents accused her of...

Standing there a moment longer, she didn't move until he'd told her he liked it. The smallest of smiles pulled at the corner of her lips and she tucked dark hair behind her ears. "Let me check for your clothes... then I'll wash your hair. I promise not to look." Turning away, she finally opened her eyes and hurried to the door. After a quick discussion with the cabin boy, she took the clothes and scurried back in.

Moving back to Alec, she never looked at his bare form and simply set the clothes for when he got out then grabbed the soap for his hair and the tumbler he'd drank out of before. Closing her eyes again, she set them on the floor then slid back to her knees. "Tip your head back for me? No point going under water and getting your ears flooded." She rested her hands on the side of the tub waiting for his okay, eyes still closed. She could help... and still respect his privacy.

"No one told me. My brother and sister are the attractive ones." It was an odd subject to discuss with with anyone. Almost as odd as someone thinking he was handsome and flirting with him, even if Magnus was only teasing. But it wasn't something that really bothered him except he wished sometimes that he was noticed for his own talents instead of comparing him to Izzy and Jace.

Smiling as she nuzzled his hair, Alec reminded himself that his siblings weren't here. No one on the ship knew them. He was Alec not their older brother. "That's a good way of wording it." Flushing slightly when Magnus said how special the kiss was to her, he gently squeezed her hand. "I'll treasure it too."

Leaning into those fingers, he hummed softly, eyes closing as he relaxed against the back of the tub. "I wouldn't have let him hurt you, Magnus." Alec hated killing mundanes, but if one was threatening a child, he would ignore those doubts. Later, he might feel guilty that there hadn't been other options, but he wouldn't have let her stepfather harm her.

He was so relaxed by the attention to his scalp that it took him a moment to realize what she'd said. Part of him wanted to protest but another realized they were being silly, worrying over propriety when she'd spent days alone with him. He needed help even if he disliked admitting it. Forcing her to close her eyes would only make things more difficult for both of them.

Once he knew the door was shut and she returned to the bathtub, Alec tipped his head up to look at her. "You don't have to close your eyes if you don't want to. You've seen a naked man before." At least he assumed she had even if the thought made him uncomfortable. "It'll just be easier if you can see what you're doing."

"Joking aside, my angel... you are very handsome. In fact.. my favorite color combination. Blue eyes and black hair. Added on to the fact you have the perfect personality. Honest. Kind. Good morals. You are a beautiful person." Smiling at that, she slipped her fingers through his hair. And when he told her he'd treasure it as well, she pulled his hand to her lips and kissed the back of it gently.

Another kiss was placed to the top of Alec's head gently. "I know you would have... I don't doubt it at all." Nuzzling into his hair, she let out a soft sigh. Moving away from Alec to get the clothes and close up the cabin. Funnily enough, she hurried back to him. The idea of being far from Alec seemed unacceptable all of a sudden.

What she hadn't expected was Alec saying she didn't have to close her eyes. Her brow furrowed at the thought and she took a deep breath. She almost did as he asked until both brows rose at the comment about her seeing a naked man before. "Highly unfair to say that. Even if it's true, just... Don't put yourself in that place." Setting everything down, she once more wrapped her arms about his shoulders and leaned her head against his.

"It will be easier, Alec... but... I don't want to upset you." Nuzzling into his hair, she let out a sigh. "Okay... I'll try not to look more than necessary." Letting him go, she kept her eyes high and on his hair and face. Gently pulling him back, she fought every impulse to let her eyes wanders. Instead she focused on washing his hair, fingers running through his hair and massaging his scalp.

"I'm not perfect, Magnus." No amount of convincing would make him believe that, but knowing that she believed that of him both thrilled and frightened him. He wanted her to think the best of him, but he was afraid he might someday disappoint her.

At least she knew that he wasn't like the other hunters who would have enjoyed watching a mundane try to kill a warlock. Which made it easier to ignore that he suddenly wanted to call her back when she went to get his clothes. Or why the thought of her leaving bothered him.

Her comment about being put in 'that place' confused him. Even if he'd momentarily thought of her having lovers, it had been mostly her work as a healer that had him making that assumption. The idea of what 'that place' could be and that he would never be in considered in such a way caused his heart to drop in a way that he didn't understand.

He'd been in love with Jace even if his foster brother had quickly ended all thoughts of those feelings being returned. The male form was what had interested him. The ladies he'd been introduced to never once catching his eye until Magnus.

"I didn't mean it like that, Magnus. I apologize. I meant that you must have seen naked men when you were working as a healer." Sighing quietly as she put her arms around him, Alec told himself that it was just kindness. Nothing more. He barely even knew her. There was no reason to feel disappointed. "It won't upset me if you see."

Closing his eyes, he leaned back for her, telling himself that she was acting out of compassion for her patient and possible friendship and to think anything else would be foolish.

"No, there is no true depiction of perfection. Not in the literal sense. But there is a 'perfect' for me." Smiling at that, she tugged at his hair. The more she learned about him the warmer she felt inside just being near him. He was... absolutely perfect for her. In every way she could even possibly imagine.

Which kept her floating until she felt that change in his posture after her words. Replaying them in her head, she tried to figure out what she'd said wrong. Furrowing her brow, she felt her eyes suddenly straying. Her breath caught and she felt her heart start to skip beats. Closing her eyes, she barely realized she moved to softly kiss his neck.

The hint of soap and water made her smile before she leaned back to rinse out his hair. "Alec... you may not mean it that way..." It was a terrible gamble, but all she could think was that she upset him by trying to reassure him. And honestly, it would be obvious if she kept stealing little affectionate gestures. "But I do... You see... I don't want you to put yourself on their level because you're.... you're above that level."

Gently massaging the soap out of the soft hair, she made sure to get all the soap and grime out of his hair. Gently setting the cup down, she dared to rise and pick up his towel. Moving around the tub, he face flushed red as her eyes ran over him before shooting back up to his face. "You shouldn't let me look at you like this... because I want to." Her skin flush darker at that. Her hands literally shook as she unfolded the towel and held it open for him. "So... um... come here?"

Magnus' reassurances that he was perfect for her left him unsure of how he should feel about not being in 'that place.' It sounded like she could possibly have feelings for him someday but if he shouldn't think of himself that way then that such hopes were foolish.

Hopes that despite telling himself were impossible caught in his chest as Magnus pressed her lips to his neck, finding a spot that caused his breath to stutter. Those feelings tumbled around, as he tried to untangle her meaning. Being above the others didn't sound quite as reassuring as she probably intended. Even if that kiss was something he doubted she'd give him if she wasn't interested in him.

His thoughts didn't clear until after she was finished rinsing the soap from his hair and had she gotten the towel. Seeing that blush reassured him, causing his face to warm when he saw that she was attracted to him. Giving her a nervous, shy smile when his gaze caught hers. "I don't mind you looking."

It was improper and something that went against him wanting to protect her reputation but it was the truth and Alec didn't want her to feel guilty for looking at him. He slowly stood, ignoring how he tub and the floor beneath it seemed to tip slightly beneath him and carefully stepped over the edge. Gripping the edge until he knew he had regained his balance, he wondered how bad his wounds had really been.

The heat of the water might have made things worse, but he had the feeling that wasn't the only reason he felt shaky. Moving toward Magnus, he focused on each step instead of the fact that he was naked. When he stood in front of her, he gave her an embarrassed look, almost apologizing for needing her help but realizing that might sound ungrateful. "I'm sorry I haven't healed faster."

As his eyes caught hers, she felt the shiver crawl up her spine. Lips parted as she took a deep breath only to unexpected gasp softly as he said he didn't mind her looking. The idea of being given permission to look at him like this made her chest erupt in butterflies and the blush to even touch her ears. And no matter how much she wanted to let her eyes slip lower, she held his gaze, slit pupils dilated to show more black.

Her eyes didn't wander till he started to get up. Instantly they followed tracks of water droplets over skin that left her longing to touch and follow. She'd known lust. One her age would not make it this far without knowing it. But Alec... Alec left her stunned for words and wanting more than just the carnal pleasure of sex. She wanted more than that.

Thoughts breaking as he faltered, she moved forward. At first, her hands rested on his sides to steady him, but she could feel him through the towel. Feverish thoughts ran through her mind as she lifted her eyes to his. "You are healing fast. I'm horrible for wanting it to take a while... so I can touch you." Lowering her head, she tried to catch her breath as her hands moved. They took entirely too long drying him off. She moved to his hair first then slowly worked down. Part of her even screamed at her behavior, but she didn't stop.

Finally dropping the towel, she carefully checked the larger wounds and let her hands linger on his skin. When she was certain all were getting better and not worse, she pressed a little closer, hands on his hips almost shyly. "You mentioned I've seen a lot of men naked for healing... but honestly... I leave it to Catarina normally. You... you are different. I don't know why, but you drew me in. And the more I talk to you, the more drawn to you I am."

Alec knew that she was watching him and there was more than just concern in her gaze. It was something he wasn't used to, causing him to feel shy but not like he did when those potential fiancees had been watching him. They'd thought of money and connections, wanting him for more than just his look. Magnus looked at him because she thought he was attractive inside and out just like he thought of her.

Which was something he shouldn't think about when he was wet and naked and too tired to refuse her help getting back into bed. Alec was attracted to her no matter how confusing that might be since he liked males... or more correctly, he'd liked Jace. He'd never been interested in anyone else until he'd met Magnus.

His confused thoughts fell away as Magnus moved to help him. He swayed for a moment, either because of the tiredness that seemed to seep into his bones once he was out of the bath or because Magnus was near, and rested his hands on her shoulders until he felt steadier. Closing his eyes, he took a slow breath, trying to ignore the feeling of her hands and the cloth against his skin. At least the exhaustion was a blessing of sort since he was too tired to react to her touching him.

But his breath still caught when he felt her fingers trail over him, a blush heating his face. "I - uh - It's not horrible." Alec couldn't bring himself to say he wanted her to touch him even if he knew it was true. Swallowing hard, he tried not to think of her hands on his hips or how close she was. Or how his earlier preferences didn't seem to matter with Magnus. "You draw me in too. I've never... This hasn't happened to me before."

The feeling of his hands on her shoulders made her smile. His hands felt strong even through they were so very gentle. So much about Alec felt gentle and kind even if he tried to stay 'tough'. It may be a veneer, but the veneer was just as real as the beautiful person hiding inside. Alec could be dangerous. All shadowhunters could be.

All while drying him off, she was conscious of his tired state. Stopping to steady him now and again, she finally had him dry and ready for the bed. This time when her hands rested on his hips, there lie nothing between them. "It's not?" Smiling up at him, she brushed her fingertips over his sides softly. "No... you've become to important to me."

Gently releasing one hand from his hip, she knelt down and picked up the shirt first. "Let's get you dressed, angel." moving closer, she let him lean on her as she held up the shirt so he could slide his arms in first. "As lovely as you are with or without clothing, I know you'll be more comfortable in something rather than nothing." Carefully wrapping her arm about his waist, she waited till he was ready to pull the shirt over his head.

If it had been anyone else helping him, Alec would have pulled away and tried to get dried off an dressed by himself even if he almost fell on his face doing so. He wouldn't have let his family see how tired he was or that his injuries still pained him. But Magnus would be hurt if he refused to let her help.

So he didn't feel guilty when he leaned on her, although he made sure not to rest too much of his weight on her. As her hands settled on his hips, he realized that there wasn't anything separating them, a blush creeping over his face. "No, it's not."

Shivering at the feeling of her fingers against his skin, he looked down at her, struggling to find something to say. She was becoming important to him as well, but his feelings were so confused that he didn't know how to express them so that he didn't sound foolish or hurt her by accident. "You're becoming important to me as well." It didn't truly describe how he felt, but it was a start. Something safe that hopefully wouldn't be taken the wrong way when he wasn't sure of his thoughts.

Smiling as she helped him with the shirt, the blush brightened when her arm curled around his waist. "I don't think lovely describes me. Especially not after that fight." The worst of the wounds were closed, but they were still angry and red. Combined with the scars that covered his body, 'lovely' didn't seem appropriate.

Letting out a sigh, he began pulling the shirt over his head, knowing it would hurt but Magnus was right. He would feel comfortable if he was clothed.